True Story

I truly believe that it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all. I am a true romantic, a Virgo, very affectionate. I used to have this fairy tale dream of being married by 25 and having a beautiful family, but that’s not how my life turned out.

 I’m DAMN near 30 according to my mother. I will be 27 in September. I have had 3 serious relationships in my life.

My first... the one I gave my virginity to. We were young; he is a couple of years younger than me. We still keep in contact every blue moon. It didn’t last because I went away to college... It’s funny, every time I hear Aaliyah - I miss you. I think about our relationship. The way we became official was a little Jerry Springer-ish. He was a rebound. Guess who I was with before him, His best friend. They still are best friends today. I would call him and talk about my relationship with his best friend and he would listen, just be there for me.  We were together for about 2 to 3 years. When I moved away to college, our love was tested and it turned out that it wasn’t as solid as a rock.

My roommate had a boyfriend at the high school my boyfriend went to; this turned out to be the worst ever. My roommate started telling her boyfriend to tell my boyfriend that I was seeing other people and talking late night on the phone with other guys. In college, I had a couple of guy friends who adored me. We would eat lunch in the Cafe. Strictly friendship, but others started to speculate. Long story short..., my first love was in my home town and he was cheating on me. One of my sisters’ best friends was close friends with the girl he was sleeping with. Small world, isn't it?

Things were never the same. Today, I still call and fuss him out. We have a special bond being that we both were each other’s first love.
 
My 2nd relationship is the most profound and meaningful one to me. Maybe because I lost this person and the fact that nobody could ever take his place. I had his offspring and what a blessing that turned out to be. The best and most precious thing that he left for us-- was her. My daughter was only 1yr and 1 month when her father was murdered. I cried a couple of weeks ago, when I asked her if she remembered him, and she told me No. My daughter knows what her father looks like, she knows of the great memories I share with her, but she doesn’t KNOW her father.

Why did someone who was innocent have to be taken away from his precious baby girl? Stripping her from her rights to ever touch, play with, or hear her father’s voice ever again. I think about him often.

I’m in tears now.

My daughter can never play on the playground with her daddy, or have a father/daughter dance. Her father won’t be there to give her away when she gets married.

In life, it’s true that you must not waste time letting people know how you feel.

We met in high school. He was a senior, while I was a junior. We had Algebra together. He would sit directly in front of me and turn around every day and bother me. Everyone knew that was his seat. He told me that we would get married one day and I would have his football team for him. He said he would have an army of kids. I told him, not by me. After he graduated high school,I pretty much never imagined running into him again. I saw him on graduation day and wished him the best. After I graduated high school, I went away to college. Guess who I literally ran away from? You would have thought I ran track, the way I sprinted so fast across that campus when I heard him calling my name. I will never forget that day.

Destiny brought us back together. 

Our friendship/ relationship were for a course of at least 7 years. His major was Civil Engineering and he had a year left, but he decided to come back to our hometown to be with me and his beautiful baby girl. My last phone conversation with him was Thursday-- October 26, 2006. I asked him if I could come and see him. He was living with his mom, at the time. He told me that he had to work a double, so he was getting some rest. He said... You know if you come over, I’m not going to get any sleep. He said, wait till Saturday baby.

On Saturdays, we had a routine of going to the park with the baby. It was optimist football season time. He would have my daughter on his neck. Some Saturdays, he would push her around the park in her stroller. She was/is his pride and joy.

Sad to say, that Saturday never came.


to be continued...

- Broken Hearted Girl