WHAT DO I DO?

Starting from the beginning, I met a guy (we will call B) on  September 25, 2009. At the time, I was in a relationship and so was he, but the two of us were really unhappy in our relationships.

I decided to seek friends on an online dating site and that is when I met another dude (we will call S). S came over to my house one night to meet up and B was his ride; that was the first time I met them both. I wasn’t really attracted to S, so I decided that we will stay friends. Long story short, that’s how me met.  We all started hanging out together,  I even tried to hook them both up with some of my friends (none worked out).

Around November my boyfriend at the time and I started to have trouble. And B really stepped up his game, He took me out for my birthday and really showed me a good time.

By mid December my relationship with my boyfriend was over. Although I was not ready for a new relationship, I really didn’t want to be alone. I started hanging out more with B. I guess it was because he showed me so much respect. I only saw him twice a week and he only stayed over until 11 at night.

With me curiosity always kill the cat. So I decided to ask. He told me, he didn’t want to get in trouble with his parents, so he had to be home by 12. I thought to myself why do a 26 year old man have a curfew, but I never asked the question. Anyway, I left it alone for then.

 We eventually fell in love.

I was invited to go to the Virgin Islands in March and was supposed to stay for 3 weeks but I got really bored and home sick. B sent me an early ticket to come home and then he confessed his love for me. He told me that he really loves me and how he want to be in my life;  that we should start a relationship. He felt like he could really make me happy and I agreed. When I got back in town we talked and decided that it was time that we start a committed relationship. So from that day on we were official. That was until late June.

Then, I found out that B was really 22, he didn’t live at home with his parents, and he lied about where he worked. I felt like our relationship was based on lies. Now I’m having a hard time believing anything he tells me. I know there’s no perfect relationship, but I’m not really a forgiving person, I may say it, but it will always be in the back of my mind. Now, we have moved on from it, onto the second stage.

B is moving into my apartment.

Now, I have a 6 year old little girl and if B was to move in with me he will have to be a father to her and I don’t think he is ready for that. My daughter has no father figure in her life right now and I really want her to have one. So, I would need him to want to STEP UP to the plate and I  don’t get that from him.

B is the type that I would have to say it, in order for him to do it. I think if I would have never said to him “show my daughter some attention” he would have never even noticed her. But that’s not just with her, that’s in general. If I don’t ask him to do it, he don’t do it.  He is such a "yes ma’am". Even if I ask him to do something that he don’t want to do he still just say “yes ma’am”! Ugh and  it really get on my last nerves.

I don’t know how we’re going to make this work out. It’s to the point that I don’t even want to be with him anymore. He’s always talking about he want to go back to Haiti and I know that is somewhere I don’t want to go. Its like we have nothing in common.  He says stuff like: He want to name his child some Spanish name and we're not Spanish (wth). Then he say if his baby mama put him on child support he is going to put the woo man on her.

I can’t even talk to him sometimes because he don’t understand English that well. At first,  it was ok but now it’s not. Like I really have somethings I just want to get off of my chest before  this move-in thing happens and its like, I just can’t.

Since we decided that he would move in-- it’s been downhill for me. I really try to make our relationship work, but I really don’t see why I’m trying. I mean, I don’t even think my daughter would care if B and I break up.( wait I’m going to ask her) Yeah just like I thought she wouldn’t care, she just want a baby sister.

So, my question is WHAT DO I DO?

Do you think I should try to work it out?

Because I know he is a good man. I mean, I would never have to worry about him cheating. Dishonest, yeah, but never cheating. Sometimes I think that we should just go our separate ways. He is always talking about he wants to go back to Haiti. How do I know he's not going to just up and leave me one day?  He talks about how he doesn’t want a baby now when I’m ready for the baby, now.

Hell I’m 25, I don’t want to be 30 with an infant child. But he wants to start a family when he turns 30. That doesn’t work for me. And every time we see something like a fight between a couple, like on Maury, he’ll say I'll just visit the woo man…  (Wtf). Sometimes I think he already went to the woo man on me lol.

Do ya’ll think it is safe, if I move in with him or not?