AS YOUNG LOVE TURNS!

It all started in high school.  I was new to this school and didn't really know anyone but a couple people who were my cousins and their friends. Any way I remember walking into my class and this boy would always check me out. From my first day in that class and the days to follow, as soon as I walked in he always greeted me “hey pretty girl.”  You know I blushed each and every time, never failing. Then one day in class he sent this girl over to get my number, and I gave it to her.  He never called! 

Later on I was confused when I found out the girl he sent to get my number was…HIS GIRLFRIENDS SISTER!

 I tried not to sweat him.  But he never stopped with the flirting, and I never stopped liking it.

As time passed we approached the end of the year.  I thought I would never see him again. I had him sign my yearbook.

 To this day I remember the exact words, “stay sweet and cute and don’t let any nigga change you, unless it’s me!” And he left his number. 

This time, I never called.

 I just didn’t want to get caught up.  Anyway, one day in summer I was going to my sisters’ apartment and I heard a friend of his call my name. But on this day, when I thought I would never see him again, it was too coincidental that he was right there!

On that day we kissed for the first time.  From then on we spoke on the phone for hours and hours. Then I came to find out he was moving to another state. I was going to miss him. I remember the night he told me he loved me over the phone, I was so shocked, my heart began to pound and I was speechless.  He thought I didn’t feel the same because I just couldn’t say a word, and had hung up the phone.  I quickly called back and expressed my love for him in return. 

He moved out of town and agreed to visit and things were great.

 Then the problems started, ex-girlfriends and their friends started hating me.  But I didn’t care because my love for him was stronger than any hate they can express to me.  So throughout our relationship he was back and forth between his ex and I, it was hard, very hard! 

One holiday I met someone else while he was back with his ex, having someone else to talk to made me feel better.  But the reality is he was just a rebound. So that ended, and I went back to my crush. 

Later on he found out about the other guy and was extremely upset. From that moment things never were the same.  I understood his anger but I didn’t think his reactions were called for.  He became controlling and rude.  I thought after all he put me through and how good I was to him he should let the past be the past.  But as much as he tried to get over it, he never could.  He no longer had trust in me. And my one mistake had an everlasting effect. He would get so mad over the smallest things like missing a call, wearing a dress (THAT WAS LONG TO MY ANKLES) and just wearing boy shorts under, or if I gave a boy a hug (EVEN IF IT WAS A GRANDMA HUG).  Things just became ridiculous.

 But I still loved him, and I kept holding on thinking if I just didn’t say anything and didn’t argue back things would be better.  But it changed alright, FOR THE WORSE!

The day he pulled a knife out on me was my last straw!  So I started talking to this guy, he became someone I could talk to about my problems and what was going on in my life. Eventually, we started talking on another level, he was very nice.  But I took advantage because I wasn’t completely over my ex and I had a wall up. He waited.  My ex did not like me talking to someone else; he even tried to fight the guy one day when he saw us together. 

But anyway, somehow I ended up back with my ex (yeah so much for the last straw) and things were not better, he moved again and this time with another girl.  I remember him telling me out of all people he would rather I talk to the guy he almost fought because he knew he couldn’t give me what I deserved. He would never get back to the person he was. 

So I did just that.

And since then love has been so good and so fulfilling!  He bought me flowers for no reason, took me out every weekend. He showered me with beautiful words, and never made me feel insecure, down, or disrespected.  We had most of the same friends and their all people I grew up knowing, this made our bond so much stronger.  We weren’t just lovers, we were best friends.

He was great! He IS great! Yep that’s right IS, to this day we are still together and I haven’t been this happy in a very long time.

We get along so well and have an understanding I never expected to find. Now, I appreciate him more, unfortunately because of what my ex put me through, I learned what a blessing this new MAN truly is!

 And now you won’t guess what, my ex realizes what he lost, but it’s too late because I now realize what I found, and it’s what I deserved all along! I’m not letting go this time!  I love him!

S/N: HE WAS RIGHT IN THAT YEAR BOOK HE DID CHANGE ME, HE WAS A HUGE PART OF MY LIFE, AND HAD A HUGE IMPACT ON THE PERSON I AM TODAY. AND ALTHOUGH I WILL NEVER GO BACK DOWN THAT PATH, I WILL ALWAYS LOVE HIM. I JUST REALIZED I NEED TO LOVE MYSELF MORE, AND FOR THAT I WILL NEVER BE SORRY! I DIDN’T CHOOSE HIM OVER YOU I CHOSE ME OVER YOU AND THAT RESULTED IN HIM!

-Loving Myself